Hey friends! How are y’all???
It’s been a little while since I’ve last written and there are a few reasons for that. I’ll explain…
First, Dallas was tracked out for almost 4 weeks (this is like her “summer”). It was our longest track out, but it was a lot of fun. I think I’ve told y’all before but if not, I LOVE year round school. Every 9 weeks we get a little break. It’s a great time for travel and just some “chill” time. When I was a teacher (way back when…ha) I didn’t know what to think of the concept of year round school and frankly wasn’t too keen on the idea. But now having a child in the system I love it! I’m sure it has it’s disadvantages for those working parents, but around here there’s all kinds of track out camps for kids that run throughout the year.
I just love it.
Although, I do not love the fact that the first week this go around I was playing police officer all the time to my two kids. They were at each other’s throats all day and the constant competition between them is unreal sometimes…I mean really, does it matter that much that one of you can poop a minute faster than the other one??? Really?
So, after we got through the first week it was time to hit the road. We had an impromptu trip to Delaware to see the in-laws for a very quick trip. My brother in law and sister in law won a bidding war at a gala to get 4 tickets to the Phillies game in the Hall of Fame section. They asked if Eric and I wanted to join…uh yeah! It was awesome. I’ll post pictures later…
We drove home on Sunday and Monday we all left again. Eric had a work trip for the week so I wasn’t sticking around here. The kids and I made the 8 hour trek to Lexington, KY to see my bestie and one of my most favorite people in the world. It’s a tough drive and people tell me all the time I’m crazy for doing it, but they don’t get it. She’s my soul sister. I haven’t seen her since Labor Day and needed some Liz time…it was an awesome week. The kids were all wonderful and we had so much fun. It’s “home” being with her. It’s always so hard leaving her, but she’ll come see me soon and I can’t wait!
Ok, so that’s one reason I’ve been a little incognito and there’s another as well. I’ve been fighting this one part of the post trying to find the way to explain. Don’t worry, nothing’s wrong…I’ve been having an inner battle with myself if you will.
You see, last year I started this blog for a couple of reasons. I love to write. It’s something I enjoy and I just feel like myself when I’m writing. I also wanted to start kind of a journal of things we do…trips we take, parties I host, recipes I make, and some crafts here and there.
However, over the last couple of months I started feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all. I’ve been following some amazing blogs with amazing women and moms who create just awesome crafts almost every day. Then Pinterest came along. I love Pinterest don’t get me wrong, but I started pinning all these things I wanted to do and create and before I knew it that’s all I was thinking about….things to make, new crafts to do – and post, how to turn my blog into a money maker, I felt I HAD to post something everyday, something amazing.
It started consuming me and stressing me out…which is not very good for my ever so sensitive to stress stomach. My stomach began to get tighter and tighter and I began to get grumpy and pulled away from my family. I felt that I needed to post something before I played with my kids. And I had to have pictures for everything.
Recently, I started participating in a Bible study for women through our church. The title of the book is “How to be a Mary in a Martha World”. It seemed perfect for me and was calling my name.
I have to say it’s an amazing book. It’s really helped me see that we all have worries and we all have “rocks to carry” so to speak, but it’s what we do with those rocks. Do we pick up other’s rocks along the way and try to carry them as well? Yes, I do that. Do we turn the rocks we carry into something they’re not supposed to be? Yes! Yes! I do that.
I am a self-proclaimed perfectionist and a people pleaser. I’m always looking for the flaws in the things I do. I want to make sure things are perfect and make sure everyone around me is happy (and well fed). Now I’m realizing there is a time and a place to be a perfectionist and a people pleaser.
The study has also helped me see that we all have gifts to give. I think sometimes being a stay at home mama I tend to lose who “I” am…sometimes I look in the mirror and think, “Who is Shana? What is my gift to give?”
I believe I was starting to feel that and felt that my "rock” of this “perfect” blog was who I was supposed to be…it was my gift to give others. Well, over the last couple of weeks I’ve realized that’s not the case. My friend, Liz, knows me all too well, and in just the right time sent me THIS article. As I read it, I felt like I was reading my own words in my head…my own thoughts.
It really hit home to me and I realized that this blog of mine was no longer a rock but a boulder. I was trying to pick up other rocks along the way to make it bigger and better when in fact it was good just the way it is or was meant to be.
I also realized that I may not be an artist or a great singer. I may not have a job that makes money, but the gift that I have to give is none other than to be a good Mama and Wife. That’s my gift. That’s the gift that our Lord has granted me at this moment.
So, in a nutshell, I’ve been doing too much (as usual), and it’s all taken me away from my true gift…my family. I’m really working on getting back on the path with the three rocks I’m supposed to carry up the hill…my husband and my two precious kiddos. I might not post as many crafty things, but I will still be posting…just maybe not everyday. So, please stick around and see the crazy things we get into…you never know what it will be.
Thank you so much for reading and the comments you’re always sending. They really mean a lot.
Happy Tuesday, y’all!!!
