Where’s the Love?

When I was growing up I would here my mama make the comment to parents and friends about how {you} as a mother would rather your child act out at home than in public and school.

You know, when your child is at school you’d rather have him/her follow all the rules, not talk back, do the right thing, all that good jazz, and then they can act like crazies at home.

Well, we all know that mama’s are up there with Jesus…you listen to her and you don’t ask questions.

So, I did just that. I didn’t ask the question as to why she would think this. When I became a teacher {seems like eons ago}, I can remember uttering those same words to parents. Because my mama said it, it must be true.

I would be in a conference and talk about how good their child is. They would laugh and say, “well, they don’t act like that at home.” I would reassure them that they would much rather them act like they do at school and leave the craziness to home. That meant they as parents did their job.

I’m sure those parents left that conference laughing their faces off thinking, “What in the world does she know? She’s so young and doesn’t have kids of her own.”

I sit here today and laugh at myself for saying those things. Mama, I love you, but sometimes I wonder why we say such things to parents.

What am I getting at you ask?

I have two kids…two very good kids, and I am one blessed mama to have these two healthy, beautiful kids, but sometimes they challenge me to my core.

Sometimes I wonder, why can’t my kids act to me the way they do to others…grandparents, teachers, other adults, and sometimes even their daddy.

We have worked so hard to instill in them characteristics of a great person…respect, honesty, humbleness, responsibility…all those good things.

They have all of these…or at least I hear they do. Everyone is always telling me how sweet and good our kids are.

I know deep down inside that they are good, but sometimes I want to scream….

Where’s the love??? My love???

Not all the time, but a lot of the time I get the arguing, the back-talking, the fit throwing, the tattle-tailing, the fighting over everything.

Even when I go away for a girls’ weekend, my husband tells me how good they are. But when I walk in the door the ball drops: tears start falling and arguing and whining begins.

It’s so exhausting breaking up fights, and “teaching lessons” as to why I can’t buy an icee or a toy every time we go to Target. It’s so tiresome asking for manners and reminding them over and over again to do something.

But I guess as my mama would say…I’ve done a good job. I would rather them act up at home than out in public.

This is true but sometimes, I wonder where my love is. Then I’m greeted with the fact that my daughter has separation anxiety and doesn’t like to leave my side. She cries everyday when she has to go to school…that’s even harder than the arguing I think.

Then there’s my son who loves me too. He loves to cling to my leg every morning at school and tells me how much “he just wants me”.

I am one truly blessed mama. I have two great kids who love me…they just have a different way of showing it.

And like I’ve said before…It's NOT about bon-bons and soap operas.

So tell me, do you ever feel this way?